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Centrelink Humour

This page is for any humourous text files that I can find about Centrelink. If you have any more email them to me via the Contact Form and I will add them when I can. Please check out the humourous Centrelink related pictures page as well.

Centrelink Poem Centrelink Song
Last night as I lay sleeping
I died or so it seemed
Then I went to heaven
But only in my dreams

But then St Peter met me
There at the pearly gates
He said "I must check your record
Please stand here and wait"

He turned and said "Your record
Is covered with terrible flaws
On earth I see you laboured
For every losing cause

I see you drank alcohol
And used smokes and drugs too
Fact is you've done everything
A good man should never do

We can't have men like you up here
Your life is full of sin"
Then he read the last of my record
Grasped my hand and said "Come in"

He took me up to the big boss and said
"Take him in and treat him well
He used to work for Centrelink
He's done his time in hell".

Written by a current
Centrelink Employee........

Petey "Suburban Kid"
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The Sound of Centrelink" - From the Song:
"The Sound of Settling" by Death Cab For Cutie

Ive got an aching
Just to go down to Centrelink
That my pen was running out!

The fucking papers repeating
"I wish I had a gun to get me out"
But you wish that they remembered your name......

[Bah, this is the sound of Centrelink
Bah, Bah] [X2]

The office is flooded
With So many bloody dodgy cunts
And I cant wait to get my pay

And I'll stare and daydream
Of all that money in my hand
Just so I can get alot of grog

[Bah, this is the sound of Centrelink
Bah, Bah] [X4]

ive got an aching
Just to go down to Centrelink
posted by Petey